ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
By: Gina Gonzalez
Rumi summed up his choices in how to perceive life’s experiences with his simple yet profound quote, “Enjoy this fine wine, don’t mind the dirty cup”. If there is such a thing as destiny, which provides fine wines as well as dirty cups, then could free will possibly fall where we choose to focus? Rumi’s quote suggests focusing on “enjoy this” as the better way to be throughout our lives.
So I ask: -- Is your cup half full or half empty? When we want something that takes a long time, do we become attached to our expectations of the outcome? Whether or not these ideas are realistic, we still may feel only brief satisfaction with their achievement, because it is the wanting and not the receiving that we are addicted to. All of us must ask ourselves: Are we caught in a pattern of always wanting more? And does this pattern set us up for disenchantment with our lives? If we apply the attitude of gratitude for what we already have while at the same time reaching for our goals, then our journey becomes satisfying as well as our destination.
Our thought patterns create emotional habits that result in a cycle of the same way of thinking, causing the same – usually negative – emotional reactions. Thus, we continue to act in the same way, causing the same frustrating or distressing situations in our lives -- unless we stop to think instead of automatically reacting. Simply pausing for a moment to count to 10 before reacting could change your life immensely. A popular definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Since thoughts fuel emotions and emotions are highly addictive, the longer we indulge in worry, anger, humor, gratitude or any emotion – positive or negative -- the stronger that addiction becomes. If we don’t find a way to manage our emotions in a productive way, they can easily control us in a way that hurts us or hurts those around us, in a way we would rather change.
Love and fear are the two primary emotional states; all others are derivatives. Greed and jealousy come from fear. Gratitude and enthusiasm come from love. Our bodies produce the same chemicals when we become excited about discovering a new activity or a concept of great interest as we do when we are falling in love. This is why some of us are in love with love, rather than with the person we believe is the object of our love.
Emotions can be rooted in both love and fear. For example, grief over the loss of a loved one can be mixed with fear for the changes that may follow from losing that companionship, as well as comfort in the support we receive. Healthy grief is not held in, but let out. If we hold onto grief too obsessively, it can become an unhealthy addiction.
How do we change? We must start with our minds. When we change our minds, our lives start to change and we also notice a change in how others interact with us. Some will appreciate the changes, while others will do their best to attempt to keep the dynamics the way they are because they are accustomed to it and therefore are comfortable. When we make the conscious decision to change how we perceive things, it benefits us by opening up new opportunities for growth and for the discovery of new beliefs about ourselves and our role.
Life is full of surprises. Some days things go our way and it is so easy to be grateful. Other days, it seems nothing is going our way – those are the days when we must take the time to actually look for gratitude.
When we are having a “character-defining day,” we need to focus on the positive aspects of situations. We hope to learn to stay centered and grateful. We can, if we consciously choose to, learn to find the blessings in any situation. We must learn to accept what is and stop pursuing what it is not.
Keeping our feet firmly planted while the ever-shifting changes of life occur and just letting life unfold is a difficult task. Be grateful for the opportunity to change so the lessons can be learned and the new doors opened to you. The blessing of having someone come into our lives or out of our lives are there for the taking if we can just enjoy the wine and not focus on the cleanliness of the glass -- for it is all part of this delicious cycle we call Life.
